MARIEL R.
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Keeping up with the Kardasians

5/15/2014

 
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Yesterday, I shared “Love the Way You Lie” with my friend. Very quickly she judged Eminem to be a bad man. I recoiled from this assessment. I am not an Eminem fan in any true sense of the word, but I am drawn to lyrics (and stories) that deal with things that are hard to say. To me bearing ones soul, sharing the sides of ourselves that are not pretty... The person gets my respect and admiration. I do not care about whether the person is a singer, writer, actor or painter.



Perspective is everything. It never occurred to me that there are people who do not admire this quality, in fact, consider sharing ones darker moments the same kind of attention seeking as a certain class of reality TV.  In a flash a thousand things crossed my mind. It felt like a big thing, because I write. Because, while I pen fiction, nevertheless, several of my stories explore deep emotional truths. One of my aspirations is to be able to write about my childhood, my time in foster care and all the crap that scares me in a meaningful way. The idea that doing so would lower me in the eyes of a friend... it’s troubling to say the least.
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So I wanted her to understand my perspective, but in doing so my friend felt as though I was pushing her to agree with my opinion. On one hand, I can be pushy and I’m not always tactful. (She has these traits and that’s why we’re friends.) On the other hand taking offense when I asked her to share someone she admires and why... it’s been bothering me and I didn’t know why at first, but then I did know why. Even though I was motivated indirectly motivated by what she had to sayand directly motivated by what I had to say (in other words, her perspetive isn't entirely untrue), nevertheless, sharing ones opinions is a way people get to know each other. “This is what I think.” And “This is what I think.”

Anyway, here's what I think now.  
I can't force her to share her perspective. I can't force anyone to listen to my perspective.  Though I'd hate to lose a friend, if she ever takes offense to  something I write (today, tomorrow or six years from now) and judges my motivations as  Keeping up the Kardasians, then that's what she thinks.  I have truly good friends who don't nessisarily like what I write, but I trust they will always support my efforts. And this is how you know who to share the thing you love the most with... Whether it be writing or independent film making or ... whatever you aspire to. . .  Many people  can be a good friend, but they're not THE friend with whom you can share every part of yourself.  That's okay, because what matters is knowing the difference.

Updated to add photos because Weebly does not allow me to add photos on certain computers. =(

Dieting nerdy: the A̶t̶k̶i̶n̶s̶  Paleo Diet

5/12/2014

 

Yo, paleontologists, so what's on the menu?

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After listening to one of my coworkers expound upon the virtues of the Paleo Diet,  I've decided to embark on this CPD (1) . After many seconds of research on Google, I found The Beginners Guide to the Paleo diet (on Nerd Fitness.com of all places.)  According to the beginners guide,  "If a caveman couldn’t eat it, neither can you."

They suggest dishes..."Things like chicken stir fry and paleo spaghetti."  I also found a comprehensive list of foods here, but if I'm going to do this diet, I want to do it right! Unfortunately, I have questions  that nobody seems to be able answer.
First,  are talking about the upper Paleolithic diet, the middle paleolithic diet, or the lower paleolithic diet. This is very important. Like I said, I want to do this right.  For example, doesn't A̶t̶k̶i̶n̶s̶ ̶s̶p̶a̶g̶h̶e̶t̶t̶i̶ ̶ paleo spaghetti made with the flora and fauna of the upper paleolithic seem healthier than paleo spaghetti made lower paleolithic ingredients? They had crude flatbread after all.

I want my stir-fry be authentic, so chicken just won't do. Does anyone know where I can some teratorn meat?  And I've decided to make my baccon from scratch so I can get that extra salty warthog flavor. However, I'm having hard time getting one imported at a resonable price and the zoo keeper looked me like was crazy when I asked where the meat department was. Finally, do think it would be okay to substitute elephant for wooly mammoth meat?
1. CPD: Currently popular diet. Do not to confused with the  Carmel Police Department or continuing professional development. That would be bad.

The tradgedy of the Sewol Tragedy: cancelling fun indefinately

5/2/2014

 
Last week I wrote my thoughts about Korea and the Sewol.  This week the Wall Street Journal said what I was trying to say.

South Korea is a robust culture. There is a lot to love. (I did leave and come back after all.) However, since the tragedy of teh Sewol schools have been cancelling fun and rumor has it there is a petition to cancel all fund indefinately. While postponing trips away from schools makes sense after such a tragedy. I can also understand postponing fun days in respect for the dead. However, I can't understand cancelling everything fun for perhaps years to come, but that's just what's happening.
Children in Korea study hard. (I've written about this before.) Classes are not filled with activity and fun, but study, study, study. And when the day is finished, the kids go to after-school schools to study more. Most kids go to at least one program but some attend up to four.  parents are not satisifed if their kids don't have three to four hours of homework every night.  High school students stay at their schools studying until 9pm and then either go home and do home work or (even though it's illegal) go to an afterschool program and then go home and do their homework. Most kids fall into bed around mindnight and get up at six or seven to repeat another long day of studying.
Fun days happen two or three times a year. There is usually a sports day and sometimes a kind of fair day.  When I taught middle school, I saw kids making popsicles with dry ice and the offering nail art, and everything else inbetween. They also preformed skits and had competitions and made cotton candy. For a day they were kids, not students, spending time with their friends. This happened twice in middle school and there was also one big school field trip.
There is another cultural issue  that lead to the Sewol tragedy, one that is more complex than age by seniority.  I'll do my best to explain: The probelm actually is rooted in the age issue. Young people grow into older people who are used to someone making decisions for them. They don't get a lot of practice making decisions and thus don't get much practice dealing with the conseqences of their decions, good or bad.
Add to this a "don't rock the boat" cultural element and you get a mess. Take for example YEC. The program is funded by the gorvnment and very cheap compared to other programs. Even so, the kids get incentives like they would at a hogwon. However, one parent complained about the pizza. He is a boat rocker and because not rocking the boat is important, the school will buy pizza that's more than double the price. That means less pizza for everyone.

So what does this have to do with the Sewol and cancelling fun indefinately? Well, nobody wants to tell the man I'm sorry we can't change on one complaint because that means asuming responsibility. South Korea is filled with public officals and even managers who are ineffective because they don't want to be held responsible if something goes wrong. Thus, when it comes to a captain telling people to get off the boat, he can't do it. If people die, he'll be held responsible. Nobody every says "you did a good job in the circumstances." The answer is either wrong or right, and when the situation is complex where neither option will have a positive outcome, the decision maker waffles, becomming much like a deer in the headlights.

I can't attest to what happened on the Sewol, but I see what's happening the schools. Far fewer parents than it would seem are worried about their kids getting injured at an on campus school event. Perhaps only one parent expressed concern, but fear of being held responsible if something did go wrong, has school official saying, "you know, we should just cancel all activites indefinately."

I saw it a little when I was in the public schools before, but it's grown in the last six years and this year I had a personal exprience with responsibility shirking. The teachering "heading" the Yeonju English Center (I'm not sure I've ever met her) sent a cart blanch letter stating we (the teachers on the book selection commitee) would acceptresponsibility for anthing that went wrong. We also had to sign a waiver saying we wouldn't divildge how we selected the books. I signed the book selection waiver and as you can see I've not mentioned how the books were selected. However, I refused to sign the other because the scope was not limited to parents being unhappy with books, but anything that went wrong.

Fun doesn't need to be canceled. Instead, a very complicated culteral issue needs addressing. I'd start with giving kids age appropriate options (things as simple as choosing between to lunch items at school)and helping them deal with the results of their choices.
Weebly Status: Weebly Photo Uploader not working again =(
Advice: Don't get a weebly blog.
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    Mariel R. is an ESL teacher, horse trainer, writer, editor, sporadic blogger,  and lover of beer. She lives in South Korea with two house cats, three horses, a German Shepherd and three barn cats .

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