Emotional Blackmail: loving other people's children

 My former roommate's boys were great kids and I miss them. My good friend Burt asked me what I was going to do... whether I would go back to visit or call. I told him I didn't know.

This conversation happened a few weeks back and I still don't know.  But I miss the boys. They occupied my every Saturday for nearly a year.

I'm not keen to intereact with Mr. Wilson. I know he manipulated me-- people always manipulate eachother, even friends, but often their motivation is transparent. I don't know is the extent to which he was pulling my strings. Somehow it felt like he wasn't and he was all at the same time.  I still haven't reconciled the man he projected himself to be with the man I came to know.. I simply don't know  and in the end I loved children to whom I have no family ties.

Here's the thruth about loving other people's children:  parents are giant children. But when they get angry, instead of slinging stones, they can and often do, toss around emtional blackmail. Mr. Wilson didn't exactly do this, but it didn't exactly not happen either. While my sistuation was muddy, sometimes the situation is black and white.

Dear friend,

If you side with my ex, I will turn the kids against you.

I don't have any difinitive answer on this. I've just been missing the boys.  If you have ever loved another person's children,  then you understand how hard it can be when the friendship ends.