MARIEL R.
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Keeping up with the Kardasians

5/15/2014

 
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Yesterday, I shared “Love the Way You Lie” with my friend. Very quickly she judged Eminem to be a bad man. I recoiled from this assessment. I am not an Eminem fan in any true sense of the word, but I am drawn to lyrics (and stories) that deal with things that are hard to say. To me bearing ones soul, sharing the sides of ourselves that are not pretty... The person gets my respect and admiration. I do not care about whether the person is a singer, writer, actor or painter.



Perspective is everything. It never occurred to me that there are people who do not admire this quality, in fact, consider sharing ones darker moments the same kind of attention seeking as a certain class of reality TV.  In a flash a thousand things crossed my mind. It felt like a big thing, because I write. Because, while I pen fiction, nevertheless, several of my stories explore deep emotional truths. One of my aspirations is to be able to write about my childhood, my time in foster care and all the crap that scares me in a meaningful way. The idea that doing so would lower me in the eyes of a friend... it’s troubling to say the least.
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So I wanted her to understand my perspective, but in doing so my friend felt as though I was pushing her to agree with my opinion. On one hand, I can be pushy and I’m not always tactful. (She has these traits and that’s why we’re friends.) On the other hand taking offense when I asked her to share someone she admires and why... it’s been bothering me and I didn’t know why at first, but then I did know why. Even though I was motivated indirectly motivated by what she had to sayand directly motivated by what I had to say (in other words, her perspetive isn't entirely untrue), nevertheless, sharing ones opinions is a way people get to know each other. “This is what I think.” And “This is what I think.”

Anyway, here's what I think now.  
I can't force her to share her perspective. I can't force anyone to listen to my perspective.  Though I'd hate to lose a friend, if she ever takes offense to  something I write (today, tomorrow or six years from now) and judges my motivations as  Keeping up the Kardasians, then that's what she thinks.  I have truly good friends who don't nessisarily like what I write, but I trust they will always support my efforts. And this is how you know who to share the thing you love the most with... Whether it be writing or independent film making or ... whatever you aspire to. . .  Many people  can be a good friend, but they're not THE friend with whom you can share every part of yourself.  That's okay, because what matters is knowing the difference.

Updated to add photos because Weebly does not allow me to add photos on certain computers. =(

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    Mariel R. is an ESL teacher, horse trainer, writer, editor, sporadic blogger,  and lover of beer. She lives in South Korea with two house cats, three horses, a German Shepherd and three barn cats .

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  • Blog
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