Where for art though crystal ball?
I have a crush. I didn't see it coming until it slapped me upside the head.
And now that I've developed a crush on someone the Worry Wort Clan (Just like The Ma Barker Gang if they were afraid of guns, breaking the law and driving fast ) is predicting doom, doom, DOOM.
This your doubt on steroids.
I don't know what will happen with the crush. Probably nothing.
For one thing, I don't think he knows I'm alive. Okay, he probably knows that. Probably.
And I just find it all so embarrassing. (That's why writing about it here makes complete sense. No, wait. It doesn't.*)
* I'm neurotic. Get over it.
I don't know why liking a person who might not like me back equates to the END OF THE WORLD but it does.
This has gotten me thinking about fear. What we fear. Why we fear it. Perhaps the fear of rejection is the greatest of them all.
Me as a writer: Well, as a writer I've got tons of rejections under my belt.
Me as me: That doesn't help.
Words of wisdom: Walls are hard.
What has helped is simple: out of heartache and fear blooms wisdom. Things like crushes are a states of grace because they are hard. Anything that is hard is also rife with potential for self growth.
What's hard in your life today? How can you use it to grow and be better?
One last thought on the subject of personal change
Change is feels like this.
But to the people around you, your changes look like this.
So don't be surprised if you feel very different but nobody notices. People never notice small personal growths. They notice the accumulative effect.
Personal change is a lot like wrinkles. Nobody notices when you get a few.... until you point the wrinkles out. However, eventually the become obvious.
Mariel R. is an ESL teacher, horse trainer, writer, editor, sporadic blogger, and lover of beer. She lives in South Korea with two house cats, three horses, a German Shepherd and three barn cats .
Bear (Gom in Korean) then (above) now (below)
Geumbi (Goldy in English) R.I.P February, 23, 2018