I have kicked the internet out of my house.
However, I cannot, simply canNOT, bring myself to call the cable company and cancel my service. So I took my internet cable to work, locked in the draw and purposefully lost the key.
As with most resolutions I was HIGHLY motivated... at first. And
"Oh, my God, I hear crickets. Cool."
"Oh my God, I can hear the crickets and they WON'T shut up!"
And then I started to chew my fingernails.
"I don't have internet, WHAT can I DO!"
"You can write more," I replied to myself and since I was talking to myself I knew it was BAD.
So then, I went to get the cable of the drawer but I PURPOSEFULLY lost the key, remember. And because I'm oddly principled, I refuse to buy something I already own EVEN if it's just ten bucks. (To be clear, I have no idea how much a cable costs but I wouldn't buy it again for dollar.)
my boss asked, "What are you doing?"
I looked up from where I lay whimpering on the the floor after losing my fight with the drawer. "I don't have the internet, or the key to this drawer to get it OuT and the coffee shop has started billing me by the second."
"That's, um, strange," she replied. "Well get up. You're scaring your coworkers."
So DON'T lock your internet in a drawer unless you want to confuse your boss and scare your coworkers. Let this be a lesson to you.
Mariel R. is an ESL teacher, horse trainer, writer, editor, sporadic blogger, and lover of beer. She lives in South Korea with two cats, three horses, a German Shepherd and 17 chickens.
Bear (Gom in Korean) then (above) now (below)
Geumbi (Goldy in English) R.I.P February, 23, 2018