"I'm wounded, I'm wounded! Call an ambulance," I yelped and flopped onto my side.
"You're not hurt," Mrs. Angleton humphed. But I didn't get up. Finally, she leaned over to check on me.
"I don't think you'll be using the cordless again." I licked her face. "Serves you right for throwing it at me."
"Oh!" She balled up her fists and hopped up and down. "Ohhhhhhh!"
She looked like she was trying to run in place. Humans often do this to exercise. I find it the least interesting kind of exercise ever invented, but I always do my duty by encouraging even the smallest efforts. I jumped around her barking.
"How'd you get in here?" Mrs. Angleton screeched as Molly padded up. She's a Golden Retriever mix, the guardian of the Turners, the family that lives on the other side of Ivanna Tinkle's house. Molly is a good friend so she doesn't need to bark before entering.
"The screen door. Meat Head left a hole in it," she replied, and then turned to me, "What's going on?"
"Just exercising Einstein's mom."
Molly sniffed my butt and sneezed. "You've been eating… oh my paw, that's just gross."
"I know, isn't it great?" I sniffed Molly's butt in turn and sneezed. "Yuck! Your humans are still feeding you rice and vegetables. It's enough to give me nightmares."
"Shoo, shoo, shoo!" Mrs. Angleton shouted.
"That doesn't deserve an answer," Molly barked. "You're driving that old woman crazy."
"Naw." I jumped over Molly and danced around Mrs. Angleton some more. "She lives for this. If it weren't for me, she would have died a long time ago and Einstein would be motherless."
Molly dodged a kick. "You're practically a saint."
"I know, right? So what brings you over?"
Meat Head the Worst Dog in the World will be posted here in easy to read increments. Read for oldest to newest if you haven't been following along.
Can't Wait to find out what happens next?