Part 16

On the fifteenth try, I crashed into the Dover's living room. Revenge works up an appetite, so I went into the kitchen first and ate a box of donuts that someone had left on the counter. Next, I bounded upstairs and drank out of the toilet. Outside, Rover barked and snarled. While in the bathroom, I chewed up some toothbrushes, a tube of toothpaste and some towels. After returning downstairs, I peed on the couch and chewed a few designer holes in the cushions. Then I leaped against the walls, knocking family pictures to the floor, and I pulled all the curtains down.
Finally, I exited the Dover's house through a window screen and trotted around the corner, stopping at the bottom of the porch steps.

"Don't worry," I barked, "your humans will get you out."

"How did you—"

"The window of course. I left a surprise on the couch. Tell the dog trainer I barked hello."

"Why did you do this to me?" Rover's ears sagged.

An inkling of guilt swept through me, followed by an iota of doubt. What if Rover hadn't destroyed Mrs. Angleton's bedroom?

Had I known how things would turn out… well, dogs know it's best not to dwell on matters that might make you feel bad for longer than a fiftieth of forever. Also, I had other pressing business—peeing on doorsteps, neighborhood flowers and the mailman. Excuse me, I mean postal service worker. Many of them are woman, you know.