Part 1 is here
I stopped. There was no point in making a fool of myself over a squirrel. Plus, my human had reached the top of the gully. I turned to him and beat my tail on the ground, shuffling dry leaves and twigs. Einstein stumbled forward. I sniffed the air. He smelled like black bananas, moldy tuna and vinegar. That meant he was angry enough to tan my hide and had enough energy left to do it. (By tanning I mean a bath. Double the horror.)
"Meeeat Heeaad, get over here!" Einstein shouted.
"You need more exercise!" I flattened out into a headlong gallop, ears flapping in the wind, tail streaming out behind.
His demands for obedience faded as drew further away. I burst through a bush, sprang over a small creek, and galloped up a hill and down the other side, swerving around trees without slowing and startling a fox napping in a thicket. It warned me to slow down before I hurt myself. Ignoring him, I barreled toward an enormous tree that had fallen many years ago. The trunk was covered with a thick carpet of moss dotted by colonies of mushrooms and fungus.
"Weeeeeeeeee!" I leaped, ears spreading out like wings on a plane.
I hung in midair and crash! My head hit the tree. I tumbled to the ground and, because the wind had been knocked out of me, remained on my side while all the nearby critters chittered with laughter.
"You're too fat," the fox said smugly as it trotted off.
"Fat?" I jumped to my paws and shook off the pine needles. "I eat well is all."
A wise old owl poked its head out of its burrow located in the treetop of an overarching and ancient pine. It hooted eerily, "I’ve seen the future. Don’t go into the meadow. Don’t dig."
I’ve heard humans say that if you listen to advice and accept instruction, you will be wise. I’m the best dog in the world. That means I was born wise.
"Oh, I’m scared. Just shaking in my paws, I am." I dashed around the tree that I’d crashed into the tree that had attacked me and burst through some brush into a little meadow.
Einstein would die here in three days, but I couldn't know that. Not then. I hadn't been born with an ounce of clairvoyance. Dogs will know that clairvoyance means having the ability to see the future. Furthermore, there were lots of meadows and the owl could have meant one to the north or south.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Tall grass swayed in a slight breeze fragrant with moldering plants and earthy dirt. I hop-hopped rabbit like around the meadow.
"Weeeeeeeee!" I howled. "Awooo weeeeee!"
Meat Head the Worst Dog in the World will be posted here in easy to read increments. Read for oldest to newest if you haven't been following along.
Can't Wait to find out what happens next?